Maturity is Silence: Peace Over the last word: Brick Wall Conversations

Have you ever argued with a brick wall that talks back?

You know, the person who absolutely must have the last word in any conversation? No matter the topic, whether they agree or disagree, they keep going until they dominate the conversation and make the final comment.

Why would a person feel as though they must always have the last word in a conversation? Some people keep going, and going, and...going! The relentless pursuit of the concluding remark can be exhausting for both them and the listener.

Admittedly, I sometimes shy away from engaging with these individuals because I already know how the conversation will unfold. It raises an intriguing question: Do they feel as though they must prove something by having the last word?

Through self-evaluation, I have come to realize that I have been the brick wall; one of these “gotta have the last word people!” 

I can calmly disagree.

I can respect your opinion, but there is an undeniable urge to close the conversation with my perspective. It creates a false sense of control, as if losing the last word equates to losing the argument.

Side note to myself: Conversations are not competitions.

So, what can be done to break the cycle of needing the last word?

1. Practice Active Listening: Truly focus on what the other person is saying rather than waiting for your turn to speak.

   
   

2. Reflect Internally: Before jumping in with a counterpoint, take a moment to digest what’s been shared.

   
   

3. Smile Instead of Speaking: Sometimes a smile can communicate far more than words, fostering a connection that doesn’t rely on verbal validation.

   
   

4. Pause Before You Elaborate: Resist the urge to over-explain or offer solutions, as it can often derail a meaningful exchange.

If you find yourself resonating with these suggestions, know that it will require effort and practice, but it’s absolutely achievable!

James 1:26 (Easy to read version) reminds us:

"You might think you are a very religious person.

But if your tongue is out of control, you are fooling yourself.

Your careless talk makes your offerings to God worthless."

The inclination to always have the last word often signals a craving for affirmation. Identifying this tendency within ourselves is the first step towards transformation. By choosing silence over needless explanations and embracing humility, we can nurture more sincere, respectful interactions. This not only enhances our relationships but also embodies the principle of self-control echoed in James 1:26.

Sometimes, the strongest response is silence, and sometimes the greatest display of maturity is allowing someone else to have the last word.

There is a certain confidence in walking away from a conversation without needing to dominate it.

Which one is harder for you?

• Staying silent when you're right
• Letting them have the last word