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The Last to Know


I thought I had it all figured out. I had managed to get through the day, barely, but I made it. Whew! Once the kids were in bed I collapsed as usual across my bed. “My God! Why me?” “Andrea, “ I called to myself. “ Did you eat at all today? What about a shower?Had any adult conversations lately? Uh, I know you didn’t floss but did you at least BRUSH any of your teeth today? Girl, you have got to do better! But you can start again in the morning because after all His compassions are new every morning. Press reset and unplug yourself.” Same song. Heavier and heavier each night. Nights turned into weeks. Followed by months. Then I noticed one year, two years, five years.... my God. Where does this get easier! Fast forward 12 years later..My oldest boy is graduating from Marine boot camp! Watching him march in step with his other fellow recruits, I was reminded of all the things the enemy threw at me regarding my son over those years. I read the statistics about one-parent homes. I saw the movie. I heard the clamor. Odds were definitely against three African American boys living on a dirt road in rural Southwest Georgia in a single-parent home with their mom. As I stood there holding back tears of joy, the weight of anxiety and apprehension was lifted from my person. I felt much lighter. My posture improved. My breathing became more relaxed. My capillaries and arteries vasodilated to increase circulation throughout my body. Finally, I could exhale. I finally got it. That son belonged to God. What a relief! Someone told me they prayed for me and my boys. Someone told me that God would help me. I had read it. I had sung. Now I knew that God heard and answered my pleas for help. From the first night of single moma-hood to this graduating moment. God swooped us up and preserved us. Now I ask myself..”Andrea, others believed God on your behalf when you doubted. Others interceded for you. Repeatedly, you heard About God's faithfulness. But now, still, before me was this young man in blue pants and black top, pristine as can be Marine uniform. No longer was there apprehension about God's love. No longer did I wonder how it would all turn out. Someone told me. I had read it. Now I lived it. But I guess I was the last to know.